Harvesting

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September! The air is turning crisp, with that unmistakable smell of autumn…folks are bringing out their scarves and boots and this past weekend at the farmer’s market, apples were the new big thing. It’s hard to believe that I’m on the cusp of beginning my second and final year as a midwifery student. When I started this blog in 2012, this moment felt light years away, something I could only imagine in the most abstract and vague of terms: a much-anticipated “someday.”

Somehow, in the three intervening years, I finished my nursing pre-reqs, applied to and was accepted into an accelerated nursing/midwifery program, and survived the first two years of said program. Now, I have one more call shift left of my first midwifery year and then there will be a bit of a hiatus from L&D call between now and January as B and I prepare to welcome our surprise baby in early October.

If you had told me in 2012 that not only would I get into midwifery school, but that I would get pregnant during midwifery school, I would not have believed you, not for one second. But that’s the funny thing about life–it twists and turns and suddenly you find yourself in the present moment of your life right now and you can’t really imagine it any other way.

These past few weeks have very much felt like a harvesting time for me. There are lots of changes in our home as we continue construction on a small house out back for our housemates and as we prepare our home for a new little one.

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There’s been unexpected time with family as we mourned the sudden loss of a dear relative, and there’s been lots and lots of trips to Goodwill as we continue to pare down and make space for things like diaper pails and co-sleepers. It’s been a lot of change all at once, but it feels good to pause and take stock: Do we need this? Is it meaningfully contributing to our lives? What is the life we want to create for ourselves as we expand our family? What are the traditions that are most important to us?

As I wind down my first year of midwifery school and reflect on what I’ve learned and where I need to focus for the coming year, it’s been helpful to remind myself just how far I’ve come. I’ve been a part of 34 labors and attended 14 births as a student midwife. Combined with the births I was involved with as a doula, that means I’ve been to over 60 labors and nearly 50 births. I’ve been involved in over 80 prenatal care visits and more than 20 postpartum visits. Numbers aren’t everything, to be sure…but it’s been good for me to just sit with the fact that I’m no longer a novice…that it’s ok to step into that role of second year midwifery student, with all the opportunity and responsibility it entails. Most importantly, I can see the big picture and catch glimpses of an emerging midwife who is growing more confident in her skills with each passing day.

What are you all harvesting these days, literally or metaphorically? What are the growing skills that maybe you haven’t let yourself fully acknowledge as yours yet, even if others around you are saying they’re blooming? What are the fruits of your labor that you are enjoying in these lingering autumn afternoons?

As always, feel free to share here or on Facebook!

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Thoughts on the 41st Anniversary of Roe v. Wade

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Growing up, January 22 was not a day I thought of as any different from other days in January. However, as I learned more about the history of reproductive health politics in the United States, this day has transformed into both a celebration and a yearly opportunity to reaffirm my vision of the kind of health care provider I want to be.

Today, on the 41st anniversary of the Roe v. Wade case that legalized abortion in the US, I’m thinking about all the recent hype around the Korean “Baby Boxes.” In theory, they provide a way for “desperate young mothers” who “can’t” parent their infants to “safely” and anonymously give away their children. I’m thinking about what the sanctioning of anonymous abandonment means for the very fabric of Korean society. What does it mean for the human rights and dignity of Korean children, who are suddenly cut off from their families, their birth story, their medical history, and if adopted, their cultural lineage?

As a Korean-American adoptee, I think every day about my birth mother, who became pregnant with me against her will.  I wonder how much of her pregnancy, the continuation of her pregnancy, and the process of my adoption felt like a “choice” to her. What options were truly available to her? What would she have done if she had had access to the kind of contraception and family planning care that I believe is a human right? How might her life–and mine–have been different if single-parenting in Korea were a real choice, not a guaranteed sentence to a life-time of stigma and shame?

It should go without saying that I am grateful for my life. Yet at the same time I am deeply troubled by the fact that given what I know of Korean history and politics, it is highly unlikely that my birth mother felt any kind of true agency or empowerment in her decision-making around her pregnancy.

Today I stand with the many unwed Korean mothers, Korean adoptees, activists and leaders in Korea who are voicing their concerns with the Baby Boxes and working to offer real support for all parents, not just those that fit the mold of “appropriate” parents.

I stand with those who refuse to pit abortion and adoption against each other as moral opposites. Adoption is not a more “noble” decision than abortion, nor is abortion immoral. They are simply two of the possible three outcomes of a pregnancy.

I stand with all the leaders in the adult adoptee community who are advocating for more ethical practices in the domestic and international adoption industry.

I stand with the courageous health care providers–the nurses, nurse-practitioners, nurse-midwives, physician’s assistants and physicians who provide compassionate, supportive abortion care every day. I aspire to be among them in the future.

I stand with all the people of the world who have experienced a pregnancy–intended or not–who have felt judged, stigmatized, or ashamed for the way they feel about their pregnancy.

As a Korean-American adoptee, future nurse-midwife, and reproductive justice advocate, I affirm my commitment to be a leader in the realm of full-spectrum reproductive health care. There is so much at stake. We need all of us to create the kind of world that supports all families, regardless of who they are, how much money they have, or what others think of them.

[Friday Wrap Up]: 30

So many articles this week! Some of the highlights: exciting news for APC’s in California, one woman’s experience of a later-term abortion, new trends in prenatal screening, a call to action to end the shameful shackling of laboring patients in prisons, and an awesome, awesome story about transgender parenting from Canada. Read on!

California Expands Abortion Access!

Gov. Jerry Brown on Wednesday expanded access to abortion in California, signing a bill to allow nurse practitioners, midwives and physician assistants to perform a common type of the procedure, an aspiration abortion, during the first trimester.

Oregon, Montana, Vermont and New Hampshire allow nurse practitioners to perform such abortions, which use a tube and suction, while several other states, including California, permit nonphysicians to provide drugs to terminate pregnancy.

But the new California law goes further, allowing a wider range of nonphysician practitioners to perform surgical abortions. While other states have passed a tide of laws restricting abortion access, California has gone against the political tide.

It Happened to Me: My Late-Term Abortion Was a Nightmare, But It Didn’t Have to Be

Stories like this break my heart…and make me angry. As an aspiring abortion provider, I can’t fathom how anyone involved in abortion care would let personal judgment get in the way of providing compassionate care for their patients, especially in situations like this. I want to believe that all health care providers bring good intentions to their work…but experiences like this remind me that we have a long ways to go.

Was I expecting too much, some special treatment because I wanted my baby, because I felt like my situation was particularly emotionally fraught? Maybe I expected the clinic to feel sorry for me, and they treated me like any other woman having a “regular” abortion. Except no abortion is a “regular” abortion, and no woman having an abortion should be treated with suspicion and disrespect. Every woman having an abortion for any reason deserves a little kindness and warmth. It could make a world of difference.

Breakthroughs in Prenatal Screening

“Breakthroughs”…but with a lot of nearly impossible ethical dilemmas to ponder. I so admire the work of thoughtful genetic counselors–it’s not an easy job and the growing number of tests makes this one of the more dynamic professions in health care today. Unfortunately, this article doesn’t really delve into the ethical questions of what it means to have more testing available, however, it does touch on some of the financial aspects of testing–which really, is another ethical dilemma of its own.

In the nearly four decades since amniocentesis became widely accepted, new techniques have gradually improved the safety and accuracy of prenatal diagnosis. Prenatal tests for more than 800 genetic disorders have been developed. And the number of women who must undergo amniocentesis or C.V.S. has been greatly reduced.

We Need to Stop Shackling Women in Prison–Now

The headline says it all.

One of the first women who shared her story with Birthing Behind Bars was Linda Rosa. She learned that she was pregnant with twins after entering jail in 2008. Linda Rosa recalled being shackled each time she was taken to see the doctor: “They used to shackle my hands and my legs. I would have to walk with the shackles on my legs, which would leave cuts on the back of my ankles.” Linda had to undergo a C-section and was shackled while recovering in the hospital. She recalled having stitches and staples from her c-section and shackles on her wrists and ankles when she visited her newborn babies in the ICU. “Everywhere I had to go, I had to wear shackles,” she said.

Transgender Pregnancy: The last frontier in assisted reproductive technology

Loved. This. SO. Much. We need to hear more stories like this. It’s so important.

It took nine rounds of intrauterine insemination for Heller to become pregnant. The first four experiences at a Montreal fertility clinic had been quick and impersonal. But their fifth try was worse than usual. The doctor rushed in, never said hello or gave his name, never looked at the women. He asked “insemination?” and they said “yes.” He was quick and rough, Heller recalled, and she bled afterward, something she’d never experienced. He left the lamp on between her legs as he rushed out of the room, they say.

‘Waiting’

I just couldn’t wait to share this photo series from Jana Romanova. She’s a Russian photographer who suddenly found herself surrounded by friends who were all getting pregnant.

Just as quickly, all their conversations turned to children: things they needed to buy, changes they needed to make to their homes, and the daily difficulties of pregnancy. “It was a challenge for me to get used to it,” Romanova said via email. “I always try to solve my problems with photography, so I decided to make a project about it.”

She started her series, “Waiting,” by photographing her friends sleeping early in the morning in their bedrooms—a time, as she wrote on her website, “when people don’t really care about their appearance and one can see their attitude to each other and to this life that is growing inside their family.”

 

There’s such a lovely intimacy in these photos…a sweet time we rarely get to see. Although, the doula/midwife-to-be in me had a hard time imagining how some of these women could comfortably sleep without pillows between their knees!